Finale . . . Part III

10:15 p.m. -

Part III. This was written (about 3 yellow pad pages in total) as soon as it was given. I am going to give it like I got it in order to not miss anything or over emphasize anything and no embellishing, no colored text either. Don’t judge it, try to figure it out or anything like that. Just read it. This was going on in my mind, tailored by the Holy Spirit for my level of understanding and using references common to me and my life experiences. It is simple (good thing, cause I am pretty simple myself). I hope that it can help you as much as it has me.

It is necessary for you to read the previous two parts before you read this, or you will miss the full thrust of the process.

A glimpse is all it took to let me see what He wanted me to see. This brief view let me see beyond my present circumstances of continued pain and frustrating discomfort. And then, everything fell into perspective. Everything was okay. It was all worked out, all the details, problems - questions were answered. It all made sense - it all “fit”. Have you ever been inspired in such a way? I believe the Lord gives us special little gifts such as these to help us understand how He sees things. In a word, it was ‘overwhelminglyheavenlyawesome’ (well, maybe more than a word).

Following that time of the 'glimpse', my mind was flooded with this word – RICH. (I started crying pretty hard at this point realizing now that God himself was dealing with me). I began to repeatedly tell the Lord, I want to be rich. Rich in Wisdom, Understanding, Knowledge, especially in Love and Compassion for others. Rich in my ability to experience life. Rich in my Giving and Forgiving.

As I was saying the above words, in my mind, I then pictured soil. Yeah, good ole’ dirt, but dirt does not convey what the Lord was showing me, the word was ‘soil’. But not just any soil. This soil was dark, rich, loamy and fertile. The kind that makes a farmer or home gardener just drool. This soil was in a field well cultivated and cared for by its possessor, ready to accept the seeds from the Master Gardener and bring forth fruit worthy of Him.

I still did not know where this was going . . .

Then the question was posed to my mind, “Well, how does such rich, dark soil come to be?” I thought quickly, “Well, it is amended (which means to improve or correct) with good things. Well, maybe I should be more accurate, and say rotten things. Things like refuse, smelly, moldy, and putrid leftovers. The partially used and sometimes forgotten things. And believe it or not one of the best things to add would be manure – poop. All of these things, after they are ‘composted’ are added to soil to make it ‘rich’. Isn’t that the cycle of life? Composted waste enriches soil and makes it ‘alive’, literally alive with billions upon billions of good bacteria not to mention earth worms, and makes it much more fertile and productive without the need for artificial fertilizers.

Now, I am beginning to see where this is going.

I answered the Lord. “Ah, Lord, so the things in my life up to this point that I have wanted to throw away and forget about – the diagnosis, the pain, frustration, loss (perceived loss), despair – even failures and sin – all this time You have been ‘composting’ all of these experiences and then ‘tilling it under’ into the soil of my heart so as to enrich me as Your child. To give me those things that I wanted to be rich in.”

Then I questioned the Lord, “but You know that I have always been compassionate to the suffering of others – haven’t I?” “Yes, but now you are more compassionate and can see what they see.” “ And as for wisdom and understanding?” “ Yes, these have all been increased, too. It is the process, the Way of Life”.

Now I get, I see now what He has been doing all along, but I have been ‘bucking’ the process wanting it to be over quick so I could 'move on'.
That ended the conversation, or should I say concluded the lesson for that day. Sorry if it was not a big enough revelation for some, but it was for me.

Here is my own commentary which I wrote immediately following the above:

Breaking up the ‘fallow ground’ of the heart is a difficult thing for God to do, since many of us (me included) do not ‘like it’. It’s uncomfortable. It even down right hurts sometimes.
[When my brother in law, Keith Johnson and Bill Icenogle came to my house to help me plant trees one weekend last year (since I could not do it myself - chemo) there were places on my property where the clay was so hard that the huge (30 inch) machine auger that we were using could not penetrate beyond two or three inches. It was unbelievable! We just had to pick another spot and try again.]
But breaking the fallow ground is the way that God can begin the ‘process’ of enriching our hearts with all of those things we would have thought were useless and to be thrown out.

Jesus Himself referred to the Father as the ‘Vinedresser’ or ‘Gardener’ in John 15:1 "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes {2 The Greek for prunes also means cleans.} so that it will be even more fruitful.
It is for our good, not our harm, that He does these things. It becomes painful to us when we decide to ‘hold on’ to the very things He is trying to prune out. My prayer is this: may we hold onto His grasp tightly with both hands and in so doing release those earthly things that are so besetting, which keep us from receiving His best for us. Lord, break up the fallow ground, cultivate, amend and prepare the soil of my heart so that I may bring forth fruit worthy of a loving King such as Yourself. Amen.

11:33 p.m. That’s it.

Today was both a beautiful day weather wise and also of worship and sharing of the Word at Hosanna. Words cannot express how wonderful it was to walk into the House of God to the sound of hundreds of fellow believers worshipping the King. Following that incredible experience, I was able to spend quality time with my loving family over lunch. Later in the afternoon, we visited with my extended family sitting out in the driveway, the kids playing together and having fun, watching the Sun set as it has been setting over humanity for thousands and thousands of years. The same Sun, the same stars, thousands of years and countless generations. Through the trees, as the sunlight on the horizon began to fade from yellow to deep orange and then a purple hue, the glow of the fire in the fire pit began to reflect off of the objects around us. Then, rising in the Western sky, a glimmering jewel appeared, probably the planet Venus, reflecting the brightness of our Sun. An incredible sight to behold. What a pleasure for me and a gift from God. Some may ask, “Why does George always ‘trip out’ on these everyday occurrences? This stuff goes on all the time.” The answer, you can tell them for me, is because he should have been dead and buried a year ago and yet by the Grace of God, here he stands, a living testimony to God’s Goodness and Mercy. I feel so privileged to still be here, in spite of my everyday challenges. I am full Lord. Our times are in Your Hands.

Thank you, my friends, for all of the love and support you have given to me and mine. We only hope to be able to give to others what has been given to us. This week can be a week of miracles both big and small, let us hold fast to the Word of Life and love like we’ve never loved before.
George. 12:13 p.m.