Friday, March 30, 2007

On the way up .....

Sorry about the delay. The treatment has been put off till next week due to low WBC, RBC and platelets. I did get booster shots for two of the three and one more today (Friday).
Something funny happened on the way to the Dr. Remember my last post? If you have no read it, read it and come back – the part about patience.

On the way to the Dr., (I left a little early) – the road crews were out in force repairing Sullivan Rd. which blocked access to Greenwellsprings Rd. So, everyone coming from the North on Sullivan Rd. and those who live on Lovett Rd. going East to Sullivan Rd. all had to turn onto Lovett and go back East to Joor. Now, if you do not know the roads out here, the gist of it is that we have a mile long traffic jam on Lovett Rd. – a two lane road - going East with a traffic light at Joor which lets about 10 cars go at a time. Boy, did I get to exercise my “fruits of the Spirit” that morning. Isn’t that funny how that works? Within 24 hours my comments on the post were tried. I recognized what was going on, calmed down and started celebrating right there in my car.

The garden is slowly but surely coming along. I have all of my ‘maters, peppers (red, orange and yellow - no green this year), eggplants, and half of my corn in the ground. I planted my 500 lbs. and 150 lbs. pumpkin seeds in 4 inch peat pots - which allows you to see which seed will 'come up' the best before you commit garden space to it. You only get a dozen or less seeds per pack with these large type pumpkins. I also planted my cantaloupes (two varieties) and Crimson Sweet Watermelon (yes!). I have never grown the above mentioned melons, so I do not know what to expect. If any of you have any suggestions to increase my success rates, feel free to e-mail or leave a comment. I hope to get my okra and some more corn planted today along with more seeds planted in the peat pots. I can do the peat pot plantings in the house. These should have been already planted, sprouted and in the ground, but I was kind of 'on my back' when this should have been going on.

Foggy this
morning. The weather is getting warmer and the mo’skeeters are beginning to bite. They don’t usually like me I have noticed, but they love my wife's side of the family and my kids. I heard a report a while back about how some people have a naturally occurring chemical in their bodies which do not attract mosquitoes where as others do attract them. The scientists were trying to figure out how to use that as a natural and safe repellant. I cannot stand spraying repellants – your skin is your largest organ and ‘dowsing’ it full of chemicals kind of concerns me.
The L S U Ladies Basketball team is winning so far. Go Lady Tigers ! ! !

The past two days have been a little on the slow for me. The shots mess up my stomach and make my appetite wane. My energy level is significantly lower than the previous few weeks. I requested copies of the last four blood work results and noticed my numbers have been low since the last treatment, so I am going to ask my Dr. why did we wait until just before the second treatment to address the issue. Was this an oversite or were you thinking it was going to return to normal on it's own. I have said it before and I'll say it again - you are your own best advocate. Check your own bloodwork and scan results, or at least press your doctor every time you see him/her for the results. I should have known better, but since I felt okay following the treatment until a few days ago, it did not occur to me to ask about blood counts. Back when I was on the weekly chemo, it was a habit of mine to ask. Word to the wise. . .

Psalm 1:1-6
1 Blessed is the man/woman who does not walk
in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way
of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.
2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf
does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.
4 Not so the wicked! They are like
chaff that the wind blows away.
5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

Have a great Friday and a great weekend. God be with you.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Low counts . . .

I met with my Oncologist Monday morning. My blood work showed a low platelet and white blood cell (WBC) count which will at this point prevent me from having the treatment we had planned for this Thursday. I will see the doctor Wednesday for one more check to see if my counts have returned to normal. He attributed the sudden drop to the Mitomycin (chemo) from the first treatment. It hits the bone marrow pretty hard. There are WBC booster shots (Neupogen and Neulasta) , but with my platelets also being down, a WBC booster would actually rob the marrow’s ability to produce the needed platelets since the shots “tell” undifferentiated cells to become WBC’s and not platelets. It is like ‘robbing Peter to pay Paul’ he says. Why so late was my last question – no real explanation, it effects different people in different ways sometimes immediately, sometimes later. So, I will find out tomorrow the next step.
What is funny is that following this mornings visit, I became so weak that I had to hang out on the couch for the rest of the day. I felt a little stronger Tuesday and planted some vegis into the garden, but I could tell I was running on ‘low oil’ physically, but in my head I wanted to get out and do something. I don’t recall a low WBC count causing this type of fatigue – I thought being anemic would. I guess the chemo has caught up with me.
Anyway . . .

The strawberry man is in town and boy, are they delicious! These do not need any sugar. I spoke with the man about this year’s crop and how he grows them. He shared a lot of info with me – enough to make me want to stick growing tomatoes and the other usual stuff. He said it requires a lot of spraying due to the fact that not only do people like strawberries, but so do pests, viruses and bacteria. He said that if you do not stay out in the field and spray about every 3 days, you will not have a crop. So, a word to the wise, buy organic or wash the traditionally grown kind really good.

My parents were able to go to Alabama for a few days and visit. I spoke with them on the phone and could just hear the laughter in the background. I wish I could have gone. They are back safe and sound.

I saw a special on PBS about pearls and the history of the pearl industry. We all know that a pearl is the result of an irritant, like sand or some other foreign object, getting into the oyster’s shell. This aggravation is dealt by the oyster by coating this foreign substance with a chemical known as ‘nacre’. Over time the thing that used to irritate is now smooth and beautiful. This is what gives a pearl it’s lustrous, luminous appearance. There is a spiritual lesson to be gleaned from this process. You have probably heard it before. Something aggravating, something painful or hurtful, something not wanted, can be turned into something absolutely, stunningly beautiful. Have you ever met a person who has ‘been through it’ and noticed in them a depth of compassion, love and patience? These people were not born with such qualities. Life, in all of its complexities, has forged with in them these character qualities which the Bible refers to as ‘the fruit of the Spirit’. Everyone alive will, at some point in their lives, encounter some level trials, challenges and tribulations. All of these, when they occur, give us opportunities to make choices. Do I get better or bitter? Do I cling to God and pursue Him or do I point the finger at Him and blame Him, rejecting His love and help? If we choose to allow God to use these things which happen to us throughout our brief stay here on Earth, we will see beautiful pearls produced over and over again in our lives. No, it is not usually pleasant, but I am sure that the oyster could tell us a few stories. So, the next time you get aggravated because you are stuck in traffic or because you have to wait in line, just let God work in you those qualities that not only improve you as a person, but also make you more like His Son Jesus, Who ‘learned through the things which He suffered’.

Hebrews 5:7-9
7 During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. 8 Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered 9 and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.
Have a good day. George.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Quick testimony . . .

Saturday night:
Prom has come and gone . . . it was really good, but I know the kids would love to relive it again. They had a great, wholesome time. The Shaw Center is an incredible place to have any function - with the open 4th floor view of the mighty Mississippi River and the Bridge - it was all a wonderful sight to behold. The temperature was just right and the sky was clear and stary.

Sunday morning:
Six of my friends from N.O. were able to come to Church services. They enjoyed it thoroughly. Afterwards we ate at Ralph and Kacoos. You know when you get a bunch of "Italians" together over a meal, you are going to first of all, have a good meal. Secondly, have lots of fun and laughs. Lastly, you might have a fight over who is going to be the first to get the check so they can pay for everyone elses meal (including their own). Well, true to form, that is exactly what happened. They refused to let me pay for me and mine, proceded to argue over who was going to pay for the ticket. Then the ones who wanted to, but were not allowed to pay, threw their money on the table in a pile. The person who won the honor of paying for us all then grabbed that pile of cash and on the way out handed it to Lauren (remember this part - he gave it to Lauren) and said, "this is from your Uncles". That is humbling - you have guests come to town and they wind up paying for your meal and then giving you money on top of that! Well, gift accepted. We all hugged goodbye, etc. Then we had to head to the baseball park for Bryan's practice and on the way we counted the cash.

Here's the testimony: Do you know how much the cash total was? It was the same amount as the cost of Lauren's prom dress (which was really expensive!) Now ain't that just like Jesus?

The story behind the dress is this: Lauren hardly ever complains about anything and just about never asks for anything. She is an awesome kid. While she and her mom were shopping for her a dress, she was looking at the price tags and then the dress. Robin saw this particualr dress, Lauren tried it on and loved it but when she saw the price, she said, "no way mom, it is too expensive". Robin thought about it, knowing how Lauren is and said, "no, we'll get the money to cover it from somewhere, you deserve this". So they went ahead and bought it by faith. And here we are a few days later with the same amount of cash in hand as the dress cost.
How does God coordinate this stuff while running the entire Universe? Talk about "multi-tasking"! ! ! But He does stuff like this in other areas, not just money, all of the time.

We are so thankful for all of His handy work in our lives.
Here is a scripture Robin shared with me during Sunday Worship service

Psalm 57:1-2
1)Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed.

2) I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me.

until the disaster has passed . . .
who fulfills his purpose for me . . .
wow . . .
"In you Lord, we take refuge".
We all have a great week ahead. Be a blessing, the world needs to see your light...


Saturday, March 24, 2007

sleepless in Central...

3 a.m.
This was a busy day. I finally found all of the seeds and plants I needed to get the garden rolling. I had to shop Cleggs, Lowes and Home Depot to get everything. The challenge is to not go crazy and 'over buy' just because you see a ‘new and improved’ plant. I also finished 9 container plantings of flowers for the deck. Shopping and planting those pots did me in for a while, but they sure are pretty. I had to take a break for a few hours.

I remember something Dodie Osteen (Joel Osteen’s mother) said in her book “Healed of Cancer”. She would deny herself a nap during the day unless she just could not avoid it. So, I have been' denying myself' a nap the past 3 days, since I have been having trouble sleeping at night. I can usually get a few hours straight, but not the old 6 or 7 hours straight. Could it be that I am getting old? Is 42 old? I do lie down on the couch or get in my ‘position’ (sit at a table, lean forward on a pillow or towel and let my stomach kind of ‘hang’) throughout the day to re-charge, which helps. I find that my persistent stomach discomfort is not relieved with or without rest, so I might as well be doing something. I think the ‘staying busy’ idea helps keep the mind off of those other things.

Well, I said all of that to say that I collapsed into my bed at 11:40 pm Friday night – I was slap worn out, so tired I did not think I was going to be able to go to sleep. Ever been that tired? I was out in 5 minutes. Ha ha. Then, I woke up at 12:45 am – without looking at the clock, I rolled over thinking it was 6 am and time to get up! What? I’ve only been out for 1 hour? I felt so rested that I could not believe it. So, I laid there tossing, turning, praying, thinking for about 2 hours – then decided to get up and blog and eat a bowl of cereal. I am listening to the Hosanna CD ‘Surrendered’ while typing. That is an awesome CD – and to think we have that kind of talent every Sunday at Hosanna! Awesome.

One comment about the Worship at Hosanna: We had a friend who has been attending for a few weeks. He used to be a member over 10 years ago. He asked Robin, “is the worship service always like this? She commented, “pretty much, yeah”. That is what I like to hear. Praise God.

I have some friends from N.O. coming in to visit this Sunday - they are going to attend services with me - that is going to be a treat. We are looking for God to move. I guess we may go out following Church and get something to eat.

Tonight is Prom, so I am going to (try) get some sleep.
'Va ya con Dios'. (Go with God).

G e o r g e

Friday, March 23, 2007

Farmer Brown . . .

Farmer Brown . . .

Farmer brown came by. Thanks to Wil, a brother from Church, his tractor and my father in law, I now have a total of 1,400 feet of 4 ft. wide rows between the three different plots in the back. I could increase the total length by cutting it to 3 foot wide rows, you just have to have the right tractor implements. It was a pretty good day, just did not know it was going to rain the night before.
The Lord was good to me and allowed me to complete, in part, what I have been dreaming of having since 1990. I started a little garden in the backyard of our first home (900 sq. feet, 3 bedrooms and 1 bath) on Bellewood Ave. That was Lauren’s first home, too. I carried my wife up those steps in her wedding dress and also my first born up those same steps….., then Bryan was born while we were at the next home on Linda Circle, just a few blocks East of our first home. But both of the kids remember most our home on Graham Drive. That is where they did most of their growing up. . .
Now, back to the garden. I had always wanted more room to spread out and have a large garden with a variety of plants growing year round. Over the years, I had finally resolved myself to the fact that it would have to wait until the kids were out of the nest or just forget about the whole ‘big garden’ thing and be content with a little 8’ X 20’ plot in my neighborhood backyard. Not too soon after I had relinquished this thing to the Lord, I received a phone call from the in-laws about a piece of property out in Central that they were going to possibly buy. Well, the rest is history and here we are. This is the first year since we have been here that I have been able to do anything like this. Hopefully, by the grace of God and family help, we can have a productive garden for all to enjoy. I do plan on being as “organic” as possible, which means no pesticides or artificial fertilizers, but that remains to be seen how closely I will be able to follow that philosophy.
You know what is really funny about all of this? My mom and dad had a garden all during my childhood. I really did not like pulling weeds and picking the grass out of the rows after they were tilled, but I did like eating the fresh produce. Now, both my brother and I are avid gardeners. Isn’t it funny how things come back around - good job mom and dad.
The Prom is this Saturday and boy are the girls running around with all of the various preparations. We are praying it will be a wonderful time to make some great memories with all of their friends.
News Alert: I just heard on the radio that Iran has captured a Naval vessel, I believe it was British, and “kidnapped” the service people (British and American) on board. This does not look too good. We need to be praying for a quick and peaceful resolution to this, because Iran does not want America to “open up a can” of retaliation, I can promise you that – especially for the sake of their innocent citizenry.
"Help our leaders make the right decision, Lord".
I hope you have a good weekend and are able to get everything done that you have been wanting to get done. Hope to see you in Church this Sunday. God bless and go and be a blessing.

1 John 1:5-10
5 This is the message we have heard from him and
declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.
6 If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in
the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.
7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have
fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son,
purifies us from all {7 Or every} sin.
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves
and the truth is not in us.
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will
forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him
out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Cut grass . . .

Where do I start. I guess at the beginning. I awoke to another beautiful day. Saw everyone off to school - kind of. Got up and downed the usual, went back to bed. Some would ask why, as I now ask myself, and the answer is that it is 12:20 pm and I am blogging - the rest of the family are tucked away and have been for two hours. So, there is my justification for sleeping past sun-up on most days.
I did do few things outside earlier. I cleaned around the Blueberry bushes and then headed to the back to check on the fig trees. Well, not such good news in the back 40. Almost all of the fig trees are dead either in total or in part. I don't know what did it. There were no signs of 'Borers', which can occasionally do some damage. I don't know, but will see if I can figure it out. The other fig trees around the property were not effected so extensively.
Then I had about a 5 hour set back. Again, do not know why one minute I am feeling pretty good and then like Emeril says "BAM", I take a down turn. So I popped the ususal and laid around until about 5 pm. I missed Church and also my daughters track meet. Then I started getting this second wind, went outside and believe it or not, cranked up the push mower and cut some grass for about 20 minutes while the sun was going down. No, I did not over do it, but I felt like I finally did something constructive (ladies, it's a man thing). It does look much neater around the front. I showered and then started getting supper ready for the troops who came home after the track meet. You guessed it - we ate smelts again , just like last night.
I am a little flustered right now. I have a stack of writings and poems from over the years which were lost when the computer crashed. Luckily, a little foresight told me to print several copies and stash them around the house a few years ago. That came in handy. One problem, I cannot find the folder which contains them. I have one I was going to post tonight, but I will have to do that tomorrow. Hopefully I can find it.

This was my morning meditation scripture. A well known one, but one I visit often.
Jeremiah 29:11-14
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. {14 Or will restore your fortunes}.

Continue to have a great week. Be a blessing.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Signs of Spring . . . .

Here are a few signs of Spring. Welcome signs I might add.

Honey Bees were too busy to stop and pose for the pictures. The Turnips were those I planted 'way back when' in the Fall for the deer. They eat the tops. My Father-in-law was kind enough to cut my grass and asked if I wanted to see if there were any more Turnips left in the back. Well, low and behold, I filled a plastic grocery bag till it was splitting - that was with the bulbs only, I had cut the green tops off. Afterwards, he cut over that area and said it was like hitting baseballs in the grass - I obviously had missed some in the tall clover and grass.

I drove to New Orleans today - very carefully I might add and with some concern. This was my first big 'outing' since my procedure, so I took it easy. But boy, was it worth the trip. I got to see my dad Mike and my mom Patsy, Aunt Eva, my brother, his wife and youngest son. We got to eat lunch together and catch up since I have not seen them for quite some time.

I drove up to the house and parked my car on the curb. That is how everyone does it in their area. I looked towards the front porch, and there was a little blonde headed kid about 5 or 6 years old in shorts and a T-shirt - barefooted of course - sitting on the short brick wall that runs along the front of the porch. He was tooling around with some stick or something, digging the mortar from between the bricks which made up the wall. "Now you know", I am thinking to myself, "that kid should know better than that, if Patsy catches him he is in trouble". Then, he jumps down off of the wall and walks a few feet over to their rock garden. Remember back in the 1970's, when a rock garden full of various cactus plants was all the rage? He sat right down in the middle of the thing and started sifting through the rocks, looking for fossils of those ancient little sea creatures, which had left their mark in or on the rocks so many millenia ago. Only God knows how old they really are. He sat there for a long time, never seeming to tire of the search - boy was it fun to find them.

Well, the rock garden is now gone, as are the cacti. It is now a place to park a second vehicle. The brick wall and the porch are still there, even after so many attempts to dig out the mortar. The porch just doesn't look as big as it used to and neither does the yard. As for getting in trouble with Patsy, he never did get in too much trouble with her, but he did get fussed at a little. Eventually it sunk in and he did learn that if you dig out the mortar, the bricks start falling apart.

Boy, where does the time go? It seems like only yesterday that I was doing those things at my childhood home. A litle blonde headed kid, out in the front yard in the sunshine, playing all day and never wanting that day to end. Then, here I go again, tearing up and getting that uncomfortable 'lump in the throat'. I continued to sit in my car for a few more minutes with the door open, staring at that front porch - thankful, oh so very thankful that I was home. Memories - moma and daddy were just inside, my brother was somewhere running around playing with his friends, and everything was okay.
I eventually got myself composed and got out of my car. My mother and her sister greeted me at the carport door - cause only strangers and solicitors use the front door, right? Lunch was almost ready - cream chicken and rice - my favorite meal. I got my hugs and then headed for the back door. Dad's Navel orange tree is in full bloom - just full of honey bees and the most delicious smell of any plant I have ever smelled in my 42 years. The entire backyard was saturated with the fragrance. . .
I could go on for a few more pages. Suffice it to say that today was wonderful. My concerns about 'what if this or that happens' never did manifest. I made it back safe and headed for the store to get some "fixin's" for smelts. Smelts are really just a sandwich with your favortie meat and cheese, etc. heated under the broiler till melted. Me and the kids ate late, since they had a late game and got home after I did, but we sure did enjoy them there smelts - and each others company.

Ecclesiastes 5:19
Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work-- this is a gift of God.

I pray that God will enable us to enjoy our everyday blessings, one day at a time. Just the simple stuff. And like those little creatures, fossilized for so many thousands of years, may the goods memories of the past remain in your heart and may you make many, many more good memories in the future. Amen.

P.S. Let's remember to continue to pray for our men and women in the armed services.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Good news . . .

I stayed up till 2:30 am doing the last post and e-mail. (come to find out my lap top time did not jump forward 1 hour) I was fairly wired and yet still very tired. I took a tab at 2 am. Woke up feeling nothing but good. So good that I got up, took my morning meds, told everyone good day and went straight back to bed for another 2 hours of decent sleep.
I had an appt. with the doctor around 11 am. I was on my way when my pain started talking to me, then I realized that my meds were not in my ‘man purse’ (a.k.a. fanny pack). I started to get nervous. Real nervous. I couldn’t turn around now or I would really be late, but then I also knew it would be a few hours before I would be back home and then add to that the time for it to kick in.
Well, I got there and did the blood work and waited. Good news from the doctor and yet hard news, too.My liver enzyme levels dropped significantly following the liver cath procedure last weekend. They are not yet perfectly normal, but that is coming. As we were ‘strategizing’, he mentioned that he wants to do this same procedure at the end of this month. Whoa! I said to myself when he dropped that one on me. Can’t I have enough time to forget the first one? But in order not to lose the ground we have gained from the first hit, we have to hit it again within four weeks, better at three weeks. Following that one, we hope to do a PET/CT scan to assess our progress. We said good bye.
On the way home, driving down Essen Ln. towards the I-12, I got a sudden jolt of spiritual energy and just started praying away out loud for several miles. Just as quickly I started the ole’ crying thing again. Why? I guess the reality of having to go to battle again hit me. “Man, Lord I do not want to go through that again, is there not anything else, like a healing right now?” I guess it was a type of ‘Gethsemane’ experience for me. I dried up after a few miles and then got home, took my tab and then headed for the grocery store to do my thing. God is good.

Here is a little thing that came to me while I was in the room waiting for the Dr. to come. I use that time for prayer instead of worry.

"You are my light, my Sunlight, my blue sky, my stars at night, my Moon glow, my gentle breeze through the trees, the flavor in my food, my restful sleep and warm blanket on a cold night, my comfort in pain, the answer to life’s hard questions, the love in me for others You are; You are my Source and my Supply, you are my hope and my future. My Protector and Victor, You are. My Encourager and Head cheerleader, my Savior and my God. My friend and King, my everything."
Have a great Tuesday. Be a blessing.

Finale . . . Part III

10:15 p.m. -

Part III. This was written (about 3 yellow pad pages in total) as soon as it was given. I am going to give it like I got it in order to not miss anything or over emphasize anything and no embellishing, no colored text either. Don’t judge it, try to figure it out or anything like that. Just read it. This was going on in my mind, tailored by the Holy Spirit for my level of understanding and using references common to me and my life experiences. It is simple (good thing, cause I am pretty simple myself). I hope that it can help you as much as it has me.

It is necessary for you to read the previous two parts before you read this, or you will miss the full thrust of the process.

A glimpse is all it took to let me see what He wanted me to see. This brief view let me see beyond my present circumstances of continued pain and frustrating discomfort. And then, everything fell into perspective. Everything was okay. It was all worked out, all the details, problems - questions were answered. It all made sense - it all “fit”. Have you ever been inspired in such a way? I believe the Lord gives us special little gifts such as these to help us understand how He sees things. In a word, it was ‘overwhelminglyheavenlyawesome’ (well, maybe more than a word).

Following that time of the 'glimpse', my mind was flooded with this word – RICH. (I started crying pretty hard at this point realizing now that God himself was dealing with me). I began to repeatedly tell the Lord, I want to be rich. Rich in Wisdom, Understanding, Knowledge, especially in Love and Compassion for others. Rich in my ability to experience life. Rich in my Giving and Forgiving.

As I was saying the above words, in my mind, I then pictured soil. Yeah, good ole’ dirt, but dirt does not convey what the Lord was showing me, the word was ‘soil’. But not just any soil. This soil was dark, rich, loamy and fertile. The kind that makes a farmer or home gardener just drool. This soil was in a field well cultivated and cared for by its possessor, ready to accept the seeds from the Master Gardener and bring forth fruit worthy of Him.

I still did not know where this was going . . .

Then the question was posed to my mind, “Well, how does such rich, dark soil come to be?” I thought quickly, “Well, it is amended (which means to improve or correct) with good things. Well, maybe I should be more accurate, and say rotten things. Things like refuse, smelly, moldy, and putrid leftovers. The partially used and sometimes forgotten things. And believe it or not one of the best things to add would be manure – poop. All of these things, after they are ‘composted’ are added to soil to make it ‘rich’. Isn’t that the cycle of life? Composted waste enriches soil and makes it ‘alive’, literally alive with billions upon billions of good bacteria not to mention earth worms, and makes it much more fertile and productive without the need for artificial fertilizers.

Now, I am beginning to see where this is going.

I answered the Lord. “Ah, Lord, so the things in my life up to this point that I have wanted to throw away and forget about – the diagnosis, the pain, frustration, loss (perceived loss), despair – even failures and sin – all this time You have been ‘composting’ all of these experiences and then ‘tilling it under’ into the soil of my heart so as to enrich me as Your child. To give me those things that I wanted to be rich in.”

Then I questioned the Lord, “but You know that I have always been compassionate to the suffering of others – haven’t I?” “Yes, but now you are more compassionate and can see what they see.” “ And as for wisdom and understanding?” “ Yes, these have all been increased, too. It is the process, the Way of Life”.

Now I get, I see now what He has been doing all along, but I have been ‘bucking’ the process wanting it to be over quick so I could 'move on'.
That ended the conversation, or should I say concluded the lesson for that day. Sorry if it was not a big enough revelation for some, but it was for me.

Here is my own commentary which I wrote immediately following the above:

Breaking up the ‘fallow ground’ of the heart is a difficult thing for God to do, since many of us (me included) do not ‘like it’. It’s uncomfortable. It even down right hurts sometimes.
[When my brother in law, Keith Johnson and Bill Icenogle came to my house to help me plant trees one weekend last year (since I could not do it myself - chemo) there were places on my property where the clay was so hard that the huge (30 inch) machine auger that we were using could not penetrate beyond two or three inches. It was unbelievable! We just had to pick another spot and try again.]
But breaking the fallow ground is the way that God can begin the ‘process’ of enriching our hearts with all of those things we would have thought were useless and to be thrown out.

Jesus Himself referred to the Father as the ‘Vinedresser’ or ‘Gardener’ in John 15:1 "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes {2 The Greek for prunes also means cleans.} so that it will be even more fruitful.
It is for our good, not our harm, that He does these things. It becomes painful to us when we decide to ‘hold on’ to the very things He is trying to prune out. My prayer is this: may we hold onto His grasp tightly with both hands and in so doing release those earthly things that are so besetting, which keep us from receiving His best for us. Lord, break up the fallow ground, cultivate, amend and prepare the soil of my heart so that I may bring forth fruit worthy of a loving King such as Yourself. Amen.

11:33 p.m. That’s it.

Today was both a beautiful day weather wise and also of worship and sharing of the Word at Hosanna. Words cannot express how wonderful it was to walk into the House of God to the sound of hundreds of fellow believers worshipping the King. Following that incredible experience, I was able to spend quality time with my loving family over lunch. Later in the afternoon, we visited with my extended family sitting out in the driveway, the kids playing together and having fun, watching the Sun set as it has been setting over humanity for thousands and thousands of years. The same Sun, the same stars, thousands of years and countless generations. Through the trees, as the sunlight on the horizon began to fade from yellow to deep orange and then a purple hue, the glow of the fire in the fire pit began to reflect off of the objects around us. Then, rising in the Western sky, a glimmering jewel appeared, probably the planet Venus, reflecting the brightness of our Sun. An incredible sight to behold. What a pleasure for me and a gift from God. Some may ask, “Why does George always ‘trip out’ on these everyday occurrences? This stuff goes on all the time.” The answer, you can tell them for me, is because he should have been dead and buried a year ago and yet by the Grace of God, here he stands, a living testimony to God’s Goodness and Mercy. I feel so privileged to still be here, in spite of my everyday challenges. I am full Lord. Our times are in Your Hands.

Thank you, my friends, for all of the love and support you have given to me and mine. We only hope to be able to give to others what has been given to us. This week can be a week of miracles both big and small, let us hold fast to the Word of Life and love like we’ve never loved before.
George. 12:13 p.m.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Part III . . .

I am working on it ( the finale) right now - 10:15 pm Sunday night. . . .

Saturday, March 17, 2007

part two...

I apologize for any undue stress those last four words may have placed on any of you, but it was 2:30 am and I just could not continue as bad as I wanted to. I also realize that brevity in the blog world is easier on the reader. So I found a good place to quit and pick up today that would not truncate what I wanted to say.

After they all prayed for me, there was no immediate relief, but I decided to take a pill and keep hanging in there. I was switching back and forth from the news to a PBS musical special named “A Night at the Alhambra” with a lady by the name of Loreena McKennitt. Alhambra (Arabic: الحمراء = Al Ħamrā'; literally "the red") is an ancient palace and fortress complex of the Moorish monarchs of Granada, in southern Spain. It was built in the mid to late 1300’s.

Loreena has this long red hair and a voice that is so heavenly. Robin even commented on how beautiful her voice was. It was almost as if you were listening in on echoes from heaven. As a man, I usually click past these shows, a little too 'mushy' for me, but not this one. Something about her voice, the setting in this ancient castle and the ‘largeness’ of the musical back up captured my full attention. I do like the Celtic/Irish musical genre, which is what they were playing. I recognized the usual instruments, but some of them I had never seen before in my life, but the sound was that of Irish type music. It was definitely an acoustical ‘feast for the ears and the soul’. I continued there on the couch listening, by myself. Everyone else had gone to bed. And then, it happened. It was as if a ‘fissure’ or a ‘crack’ – a hole - that I was allowed to temporarily ‘glimpse’ through appeared in my mind. Not a vision like in the Book of Revelations type thing where I was walking around in the vision – this was more of a mind experience – tailored just for me. . . .

Sorry, we have to go to a Basketball game . . . I promise I am not playing you. I will finish this story today. Promise.

timeline....Part I

2 a.m. - wake up and take a pain pill. Hadn’t needed one in a while, go back to sleep.

6:41 a.m. Robin: “I thought you were going to cook omelets this morning?” Huh? I was dreaming so deep I had to climb out of it to respond. Dog gone it! I slept passed all three of her “snooze cycles” (that I love to hate) and now it is too late to do what I said I was going to do. Then as I moved a little, it hit me – man, somebody needs to find out what ran over me last night! I was hurting like a hit and run victim. I stumbled into the kitchen, said hey to the kids and offered “maybe tomorrow morning” and popped my pills. I made a bee line for the bed and there I lay until about 9 a.m.

7:30 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. Went into prayer and intercession for about an hour on and off. It was a good time with the Lord. I did get some relief from the pain, thankfully. Got up and ate a good breakfast, caught up on the news real quick via 1150 am WJBO. Baton Rouge is moving and active. It is Friday.
Fed the animals and sat out on the deck for a bit under a big removable umbrella type cover to keep out of the sun. Thank you Lord, for the little blessings such as this -the air was so fresh and clean.

12:30 p.m. Took a ride with brother in law across town, thinking that I need to ‘get out and about’ a little since it has been 3 days of recovery on the couch. I might have been wrong about that one – then I made my epic error – we ate Chinese on the way home. Why? Did I all of a sudden become stupid? I knew better, but like I have been telling ya’ll since I came home from the hospital, I feel like I am starving half the time. I only ate two (conservative) plates, not loaded, but that was still too much. I suffered horribly from 1 p.m. till around 10 p.m. that night. I did not know which end was up. Not so much in pain, but just miserable. Double miserable. And to think that I did this to myself, when I knew good and well not to.
Did I mention the traffic we encountered? Every single road, including the Interstates, were unbelievably clogged with traffic. That cannot be normal, can it? In the middle of the day? That did not help me either.

6 p.m. My beautiful family arrived home to find me suffering (self inflicted, I confess again). Both the kids brought a friend home to spend the night over. Good, that way I could just ‘hide out’ and they could still have some fun. Later, after they had all eaten at the in laws – stuffed chicken and corn casserole (see what being stupid made me miss?)
They came home and went to praying for me as a group. Isn’t that awesome, your kids and their friends coming in and laying hands on you asking God to heal and to help? Give them more friends like that, Lord.

And then, it happened . . . . .

Friday, March 16, 2007

Peace . . .

Praise God for another day and a better day. I am feeling more like myself and definitely eating a bit more. I still have the fatigue, but take frequent breaks throughout the day if needed.
We are still feasting on those meals brought to us by our friends. Man, I feel like I have never eaten before at every meal. I guess since I lost down to 155 lbs. this time, my body is 'ramping up'. I hope you are able to enjoy your food as much as I am, because it has been remarkable.
I went and had some blood work done today and I believe it looked okay. I sat out on the deck and laid my head on the table for a while, while it was overcast, it was really nice outside for part of the day. The weatherman said we have one more cold blast Friday night – it is supposed to get down to 42 F. So long Winter. Hello

If you want to increase your ‘peace of mind’ quotient, I have one bit of advice – don’t watch the news! (I am kind of serious) It is getting insane. The Presidential stuff is starting way too early and is getting stupid. The Iraq / Afghan War is progressing along, but you would never know it thanks to the ‘drive-by-media’ big three channels. Our two parties are fighting over some of the most nonsensical non-news story stuff I have ever seen. They are wasting time, money and other precious resources playing all of these games. Can we just get back to the Constitution, elected officials ‘serving’ the people and us people being served remaining vigilant to do our part by staying properly informed on the issues. One little stat I just heard today, the next Presidential run may cost the winner 1 Billion dollars. Wow.

My peace cannot come from any source other than The Source. Here are some scriptures that ‘hook me up’ to the Source:

Numbers 6:24-26 24
"The LORD bless you and keep you;
25 the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
26 the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

Psalm 4:6 - 5:1
Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD. 7 You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. 8 I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 29:11 - 30:1
The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

And one of my all time favorites . . .

John 14:26-27
But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. 27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

That is better than Chicken soup baby!
Have a great Friday, a great St. Patrick’s Day too. You need to check out his story . . .
Maybe I will post the story next time . . . hhhhmmm .. …. God Bless
P.S. Please pray for David Sims’ mother. She was admitted to OLOL late this afternoon with pneumonia. Please pray for the 'Peace of God' for her, David and his sister Sydney. Thanks.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Rainin' here . . .

Rain, rain, go away! We have had enough and I believe we have caught up with our quota.
Today (Wednesday) is about gone and here comes Thursday. Today was better than yesterday. We were blessed with a fantastic meal from the King family and also the Icenogle family – thank you! That was the first actual meal I had since last Wednesday. The chemo and all the hospital stay prevented any home cooked typed good food. I had a brief glimpse of ‘food heaven’ for a few minutes. It was sooo good.
I am steadily climbing out of the ‘hole’ day by day. Still fighting the fatigue and fog. It ain’t easy and I am ready to get back to normal - the end is in sight. The Lord has been faithful through it all as has been my friends and family.
Good News:
Guess what? My mother’s last chemo treatment is tomorrow (Thurs.)!!! I am so excited for her. The clinic has a bell that they let the people ring as they walk out following their last treatment. Ring that bell mom! That is such a relief I know. She, dad and Aunt Eva have all three been dealing with some type of respiratory ailment. I think they are all coming out of the woods on that one.
I need to get horizontal again.
Thanks for your continued prayer support whenever the Lord moves on you.
God be with you. George.

Thurs. 7:14 am ...
Slept pretty good last night with a few wake ups. I was starving this morning - that is a good sign for sure, I just have to go easy cause I could eat the house right now. Everybody is off to school/work. I am going to keep on recovering in Jesus Name.
"This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Thank you

Thank you. Thank you to my caring and loving wife, for sitting/sleeping on a hospital couch for 4 days/nights watching over me (in addition to all of her other duties). Thank you to Bob and Gladys (my in laws) for taking turns also at my bedside taking care of me. Several nurses thought that they were my parents. For my kids – for being good and helpful through all of this. For all of my other family out of town who wished they could be here to help, thank you. For all of my friends at work and Church and all of you who have obeyed the Lord in prayer and lifted me up at all hours of the day and night, I cannot thank you enough.
I am climbing out of the hole that I had been in over the past 24 hours …… a hole I did not see coming. I don’t recall since my last chemo treatments quite a place of complete emotional and spiritual despair. Physical pain can be managed to some greater or lesser degree with medication, but this pit was a stranger to me. I recall the Psalmist King David praying to the Lord to deliver him from the “pit” and similar metaphors which he used to describe a place of hopelessness and lost-ness. With time, it is easing up and will pass, thank God. Jesus is the friend that sticks closer than a brother.
I have said this before and I will say it again, I do not know how people make it with out Jesus. He has been my Rock and my Strong Tower, my comforter, my protector. Did I say these things in the midst of the pit? Yes. Did I get religious out of desperation? No. He has been these things to me for many years, it has been this past year that I have really needed to depend on Him in that capacity. Last night and into this morning are gone. The light has come. We pray that this treatment will be a success. I do not know what tomorrow brings, but I do know that He promised to be with me no matter what comes my way.
If you know of anyone who has a need, like so many of you who have helped me, keep the ball rolling. Reach out and give and love while you have the chance, tomorrow is not promised.
I give you all thanks again and Glory to God. Here is one of the first Psalms that I memorized after getting saved.
Psalm 23:1-6
1The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, {4 Or through the darkest valley} I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Have a wonderful week and God be with you. George.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Home at last...

Well after four sweet days in the hospital we are home. George came home and went straight to bed. I think he is not only physically exhaustedbut mentally exhausted as well. To lay in bed four days straight not being able to move your right leg, bend it or anything having to take care of business in a not so convenient way can wear on you. I think he is relieved it is over. Please continue to pray with us that God uses this method to bring forth a good report. Lord we say, no matter what our eyes are on YOU. Thanks to everyone for your continued prayers and for standing with us over a year in this battle. Thanks for not growing weary and realizing where your strength comes from. We love each one of you so much.


Sunday, March 11, 2007

home tomorrow.....

Today is Sunday. George is still doing fine. Today he is experiencing some pretty tough stomach cramps. He is kind of wiped out today. Tomorrow they will remove the line in his leg that goes to the liver. After they are sure it is sealed off he will be able to come home. It has been a long weekend but thank God for great health care and great nurses. I am sure George will post more tomorrow and catch everybody up. Thanks again for your prayers.


Friday, March 09, 2007

Day two in the hospital...

All is well. Last night at about 10:00 George began receiving chemo in the line directly to the liver. It is a certain time framed protocol that is followed pretty close. Today at 4pm he will start round two. He will be in the hospital for 4 days. His spirits are good and he is feeling good. Of course the main meds are helping.

Please pray for us to have discernment on how hard to push the insurance denial issue. We do not want to bust down a door that the Lord is shutting for whatever reason. However, we do not want to fall victim to the insurance companies processes and ways of dealing with things and lose out because of lack of diligence. WE NEED TO KNOW THE MIND OF CHRIST ON THIS ISSUE!!!!!!

Thank you all for your prayers I will try to keep the blog updated. I can logon at the hospital but it will not allow me to actually do a post for some reason. I home now freshening up and going back to the hospital

Love, RW

Thursday, March 08, 2007

in the hospital

Just wanted to let everybody know that they took George back at 1:20 for a procedure to map the vascular system in his liver. This is done through the same technique as a heart cath. He is being checked now to see if he has any leaks of blood flow out of the liver. If he does he may not be a candidate for the radiation procedure. He will however go through 3 days of chemo infusion to the liver directly. check the blog for updates


Wednesday, March 07, 2007

It's on . . .

So far it looks like we are on for 9 a.m. tomorrow morning. The administrator assisting me says she stayed on the phone with BlueCross for 1 hour and 10 minutes before she talked to a human in regards to the appeal. That is, to me, rediculous. We are now weeks behind where we could have been treatment wise not to mention the pain and suffering I have been experiencing even with pain meds. (No, not looking for a law suit - just a healing). Which procedure will be done is still up in the air. Both start out the same with a liver cath to map out the vessels involved, so something will be done tomorrow for sure.
I am so glad to finally get some sort of definite from them. Today started out okay, but after lunch was a killer. The pills were just not doing the trick, the hot shower helped little and then I was so hot from the shower I had to cool down. The hot pad was then applied and within the hour things lightened up a little more. By 6 pm I felt more human.
Good news on the Track and field front: Hosanna - Edward D. cleared 8 ft. on the Pole Vault - a District record - and my Lauren WON the 400 meters out of seven other girls! I do not know her time, but winning is enough. We are excited. I knew those spider monkey legs and arms would come in handy other than in Volleyball and Basketball. And to think, I really did not want her to do Track in addition to all of the other stuff she is involved in. Well, you're only a kid once. Unfortunately, I was not able to be there due to waiting on the doctor stuff, plus I was not physically up to it. Praise God.

Psalm 127:3-5
Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be
put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

We are blessed with two great kids. Now, if I can just get Bryan to throw the javelin, discus and shot put. Hmmm......
Good night. George

The Race . . .

No word yet from the doctor about the Hospital stuff. I’ve called and left a message so we are in “stand by mode”. I feel like I am in the military with the ‘hurry up and wait”.

Today is another beautiful day weather wise and hopefully for you all otherwise.
I watched some of the Hosanna kids yesterday training for a track meet – boy does that bring back memories. My only main recommendation to anyone attending or participating in a track practice or track meet – please identify and know where the Javelin throwers are and in what general direction they are throwing. At this skill level, not too many of these guys are in full control of their javelin yet. I personally have set many a persons to flight who were down field from me when I was throwing the javelin in High School. It is dangerous, but it was funny at the time to watch them running.
Pole Vaulting is another thing they were practicing. I think the world record is about 20 feet high. That is huge. It is kind of crazy when you think about it, but at least they have pads to fall on. I am hoping that Bryan will use that strong arm of his and his physical size to possibly pursue the javelin, shot put and discus. Many of the district records would be very easy to break with some proper training and practice.
I believe God gives us things, such as sports, to be used as a way of learning about the deeper things in life like faith. A person does not wake up one morning ‘spiritual and complete’ – it takes trial and error, practice, sacrifice of things you would probably rather be doing otherwise, team work and a lot of coaching or discipling. The Apostle Paul made reference to ‘running the race’ in several of his letters. Check these out:

1 Corinthians 9:24-27
24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run,
but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training.
They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a
crown that will last forever.
26 Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly;
I do not fight like a man beating the air.
27 No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have
preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Acts 20:24 24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me,
if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus
has given me-- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great
cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the
sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance
the race marked out for us.

This next one is significant.
2 Timothy 4:7 7 I have fought the good fight,
I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
Paul was imprisoned in Rome under Nero during the persecution of the Christians.
Soon after Paul penned these words, according to tradition, he was beheaded on the Ostian Way, west of Rome.
May we all be, in part, as Paul was. Desiring to finish the race that Christ had laid out for him. We all have different parts to play on the team with the same goal in mind - to live for God and to make Him known to others.
God bless you today as you "run the race set before you".

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

"Walk by Faith. not by sight"

Another beautiful day! Woke up feeling pretty good – so good that I had to lie back down for another hour. Isn’t it funny how your emotions can change in a matter of minutes or hours? On the second wake up, I felt really disconnected, not wanting to pray or even face the day. Knowing this as not an common thing, I got on with the routine of pills and breakfast, etc. As I was eating and catching up on the morning news, a shout just rose up within me and I had to let it out – literally - that quickly things changed. So I praised and shouted unto God for a few minutes. What’s the deal? Then, within the hour I became so sleepy, that I had to lie down – man! Maybe it was the meds, I don’t know, but it is very aggravating all of this fluctuation. Then my lovely wife called, needing me to look up some account information, which got me up and walking around. So then outside I went to feed the animals and all of a sudden here it goes again, I feel like a new man, sort of. Wow, I guess you just have to hang on and keep moving forward regardless of how you feel. “Walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor. 5:7). Many times, just a change of surroundings can get one into the right frame of mind. Changing rooms, going outside or calling a friend. Go for it.
More later . . . George.

Monday, March 05, 2007

No word yet . . .

No word yet from the doctor about going in to the hospital for treatment. I am standing on ready.
Church was awesome yesterday. We are going to have to set up a 'milestone' and remember that service as the time that something happened. I use the word something, because so many people were touched by God at the Altar that everybody got whatever it was that they came for.
We went out to eat Chinese afterwards and then hom. It was downhill from there on for me physically. I just felt bad. In pain and just sick feeling. I have found a quicker remedy for the pain, although more temporary, is to get in a hot shower - as hot as you can stand, and let the water run on whatever is hurting. Of course you have to get out eventually, but last night I was wishing I could have spent the night under the tap. It helped a little, thank God. Passed out on the couch afterwards for a while. When I woke up, everyone else was already tucked in. I went ahead to bed but didn't sleep much at all.
Well, the dryer timer is replaced, thank you very much, and in working condition. It was running only on the cool side of the cycles and not running for very long at that. It was just a matter of getting around to it.
I was nauseated this am after breakfast, so I did what I do not normally advocate - I drank a Dr. Pepper - okay, okay, I know, no ugly e-mails. I used it for 'medicinal purposes' only. It, along with some Gardetta's garlic snackens and that seems to have done the trick. I like the dark brwon looking crunchy pieces that are heavy on the garlic. The other pieces are okay, but I dig the others out. I don't hardly ever get nauseated, but I have been over the past week on and off.
The bunnies are all okay, as well as the cats and the dog. I need to get an updated pic of the bunnies - they are huge.
Go Bless and be a blessing today as you go about doing your thing.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

"The tree, The Key"

Beautiful weather, huh? I did spend some time outside Friday afternoon. Too much time, cause I was literally worn out. That evening my mother-in-law cooked for everyone and we had a good time together. The laughs were too much since I cannot – should not – be laughing. I had to hold my incision site though. I have not been lifting or pulling on anything per Mom, Aunt Eva and Margie. I have not really been feeling to well to want to do anything to be honest. My head says yes but the rest of me says, ‘can’t do it’.

<<<>Cedar tree in New Roads - Bob guessed that it may be 200 years old. You can see how gravity has been pulling on it a little bit. Everything seems to have gone to the 'bottom'. I can relate.

Here is, what I believe (for me), the answer to that persistent question I pose to my Lord on a regular basis concerning my present condition. This is asked reverently mind you – “What is the hold up? It’s been a year of constant requests for a healing and yet I have not seen it Lord. You say to ask, seek, knock and I have, You say to get the elders of the Church to anoint the sick one with oil - and I have. I have hundreds of other people praying for me, and yet no manifestation of the healing power of God. You have supplied for us in so many other ways, why not the healing? Talk about change some people’s lives - You heal me and it will.” Here is the response I believe the Lord revealed to me and for me. Some of you may disagree and that is okay because I am not preaching anything here, I’ve just been trying to listen.
Relationship is the KEY. Abraham was called the ‘friend’ of God. That means he obviously had a remarkable relationship with the Almighty to have earned such a title. He had a relationship with the Father through thick and thin – and Abraham had a lot of both – you can read it for yourself.
In my situation, am I going to maintain my relationship with God regardless of what happens to my health, finances or to my family/friends? The answer is yes. I want to be a 'friend of God' just like Abraham. As a friend, we all expect certain things from each other. For example, a friend should not lie to you but tell you the truth, right? That is an ‘expectation’. I expect God to save us, provide for us, protect us and heal us. That has always been my impression from the Scriptures concerning God towards me. These are things that only God can truly give or do. I do admit feeling some disappointment when a healing has not been seen yet. That particular answer has not arrived. Yet, I understand that some answers take time due to God working out other things which may involve multiple people and events to come (I learned that one from Pastor Don). Afterwards, we see how everything worked out and it makes sense to us – hindsight is always 20/20. Think of Joseph. You think he had a few doubts on the path to becoming Viceroy of Egypt? Just a few ‘prison’ and ‘pit’ stops along the way. But the salient point is this – maintaining my friendship/relationship with God through Christ takes precedence over any perceived outcomes - good or bad. Gods want to know me and for me to know Him. He desires and requires the ‘Chief seat’ in our hearts and lives all of the time – "yet He knows our frame, that we are dust." (Ps 103:14). If I receive my healing tomorrow, fantastic! But if I do not, great. For me, “to live is Christ and to die is gain” and “absent from the body, present with the Lord”. So no matter what happens, it is all about my relationship with God. He seems to be more concerned with that than any other thing in my life. And remember that very compelling and sobering scripture where Christ says, "... assuredly, I do not know you" (Matthew 25:12)? There is no need to be 'scared' into a relationship with God. What kind of friendship would that be?
Anyway, He did tell us to "keep asking, seeking and knocking" so that I will do.
Have a great weekend - get out and get some Sun!

Thursday, March 01, 2007


Here is an awesome picture taken just after sunrise over the pond. This is one of the those "Jesus coming in the clouds" type of shots.
Spring is on its way and here is the proof. Te buds on our Maple tree are bursting out all over the tree. Today and yesterday I had to turn on the AC. Would'nt you know it, the thought crossed my mind about how since we have lived here, the AC has given us trouble. Soon afterwards, the fan blower had kicked off but the compresser was still running. Not already? So, I had to go outside and manually turn off the breaker. Sometimes that fixes the problem and sometimes it does not. The manufacturer is getting a call this time.
Another coincidence - I was up in the early hours doing my usually potty or pills or whatever and laid back down in the bed. My mind was wondering through random things when I thought about an insurance policy my parents had started for me when I was in my teens. I was wondering if we had paid the yearly fee or have we ever paid it since we moved to our present address. I was a little concerned and made a mental note. Guess what came in the mail later today? A bill for the yearly fee. Am I psychogenic or what?
I finally completed my disability claim interview over the phone, it was supposed to be tomorrow but due to a cancellation she called me today. I am glad that hurdle is crossed.
I have been on the roller coaster since the hernia repair. Right now I am feeling relatively okay. Thank you for praying.
Psalm 67:1-3 God be merciful to us and bless us,
And cause His face to shine upon us.
2 That Your way may be known on earth,
Your salvation among all nations.
3 Let the peoples praise You, O God;
Let all the peoples praise You.
God Bless. George