let it out....

Well what a weekend. I found myself in a very emotional state Sunday after church. The kids had to stay at church for something so I was alone. I went to the cemetery and sat and thought and talked out loud. I called a friend of mine to pray for me and as he spoke he challenged me to let go of my anger. My response was that I wasn't angry, but even as I said it I knew I was even trying to hide it from myself. He continued to explain that I could be angry at God's decision and still love God. He asked, "Have you ever been angry at your kids. Yeah, but you still love them, right?" Yes, IT finally started surfacing and I realized that I needed to get alone with God and let it out. So when I arrived home to my room I went willing to lay it all out before God. He already knew what I was feeling anyway, He was just waiting for me to actually acknowledge it to myself and Him. What surfaced was the anger I felt toward the Lord for giving me a true GIFT of faith to believe for George's healing but He did not heal him. Why God? Why the gift to believe if Your plan was to take him home? WOW what a cleansing process I had with the Lord. God spoke to me very specifically and I will type it later. I am at school and I don't have my journal with me. I do want to share with you all how precious the Lord answered that question. Our God is a great God and He will intimately see us through our situations, send people into our lives to challenge us, and He will meet us right where we are. His main concern is our relationship with Him and the Kingdom. More later. RW