I was asked the other day - like I have before - do you ever get bored? With all of the physical limitations i am presently under do the days get long and boring? Well, after thinking about the idea of boredom itself, here is what my thoughts are on the subject. An inquisitive mind does not see boredom as an option - it's almost like the word is not in the vocabulary. Notice i did not say an intelligent mind or a mind with a high IQ - just one that likes to question and inquire. Nature supplies an abundance of fascination, especially with Springtime. Allow the simple things in life to thrill you. A sunrise or sunset is art in motion and it is so much more enjoyable when shared with another. Watching people walk around and interact with each other - not trying to judge or figure them out - just people watching. With the recent cool weather - close your eyes, breath in a big deep breath, and let it out slowly. While your eyes are still closed just relax and listen, don't think about what comes next, just listen. Do not think about your have to's and your gotta do's - be still my soul and know that He is Lord. Five minutes of that a few times a day can re-charge your spiritual batteries.
Another thing is to focus on what you can do, not what you cannot do. I can read, walk, sing, play the guitar, write on my blog, work on my songs/music, feed the fish in the pond and see what new creature decides he or she likes bread after all, visit with family, be chauffeured around to Dr.'s appointments or to the store. I can now eat real food, cook, walk the dog, sit on the deck and observe the birds and the bees and water my plants. My list of I cans is so huge i need to stop now before i run out of room.
As for what i cannot do - That is where acceptance comes in. When i was given the diagnosis with surgery following and now recovery, i was told what to do and not to do and i accept my present, temporary limitations. There is so much freedom in acceptance of where God has you. What if i had decided to buck the advice of my Dr. and mull around the house all day angry and frustrated or maybe even hurt myself physically trying to do things i know i am not supposed to be doing. Why be miserable when you do not have to be.
Now don't confuse the type of acceptance i am speaking of with defeatism. You know the mentality which says that i could never be anyone or do anything special so as a result I'll just 'accept' my mediocrity and live the dismal life of a quiter. I am referring to God and accepting where He has you stationed at a particular time and for a particular reason. The way may not always make sense, but in the end - which implies you have to go through the beginning and the middle to get to the end - it all comes together. That's God's artwork and He is really good at it. Each day is new and has it's own blessings and challenges. Give us this day, our daily bread - and grace and mercy - for today. Let tomorrow and yesterday take care of themselves. So no, boredom is not an option.
Here are a few lyrics from one of my songs which applies:
"Live everyday like it may be your last
You can mold the future, but you can't change your past
Your yesterdays, they are all gone
But tomorrow is yet to come"
A medical update: We met with Dr. Patten today at Mary Bird Cancer Center and he knows my case and the medical oncologist at M.D. Anderson. We discussed about 3 or 4 chemo options all of which are FDA approved and all of which could be administered here in BR. My appt. in Houston is 4/2 thru 4/5. We will discuss their options for me then.
We contiunue to pray and praise. I am eating more than i want to, but Robin holds me accountable as to my daily intake. I still weigh about 155 lbs. That's highschool weight. Thanks for all of the meals prepared by family and friends - I'll try to eat it all if possible.
Time for bed (or in my case, the couch). Love ya'll. GW